1. Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog (assistants won’t work for ungrateful bosses). I was tagged by Eden at The Happy Hedgehog, who is a lovely individual and a new blogger with a great sense of humor. Definitely go check out her blog. Oh, and thank you, Eden. :D
2. Link back to the creator of the tag. That would be the lovely Mariposa and Aberdeen over at Dino’s Digest!
3. Tag 5-10 bloggers who need assistants (and if they don’t need them, tag them anyway).
Please answer the following questions so the author assistant agency can find the right assistant for you:
1. What type of creature/species would you like your assistant to be (human, animal, dragon, dinosaur, figment of your imagination, etc.) and why?
Hmm… I think I’d like a two-inch-tall humanoid. (The second option was a dragon about the size of a kitten, but eventually the humanoid won out.)
2. What do you want your assistant to look like?
He’ll be a cute little fellow with pointed ears, spiky red hair, a million freckles, and a mischievous smile.
Something like this, except less malicious. I don’t want my assistant murdering me in my sleep. (And yes, this guy could do it even if he was only two inches tall, I’m convinced.)
3. What qualities are you looking for in an assistant (responsible, lovable, exasperating, etc.)?
Witty, talkative, a little bit exasperating and with a penchant for friendly insults and making dares, but truly encouraging when it gets down to it.
4. What job(s) would your assistant be in charge of?
Goading me into getting work done, keeping me accountable, pricking my finger with his tiny dagger when I’ve been scrolling through Facebook for too long, and rearranging my desk so I can never find anything. (Seems rather counter-intuitive, don’t you think?)
5. What would you like your assistant to be named?
*taps chin* Let’s name him… Zeke. Zeke seems to fit.
6. What would you feed your assistant (candy, books, pickles, etc)?
Apples, and hot chocolate in a thimble. I might have to find a new stashing place for my chocolate, though, so he doesn’t go munching on it…
7. How would you pay your assistant and what benefits would you offer as compensation for their work?
He seems like the type of creature to like shiny things, so he can have all the earrings I never wear. As far as compensation, he’ll have housing in my largest desk drawer, plenty of hot chocolate, and my friendship and terrible jokes.
8. What special abilities would you like your assistant to have (i.e. ice powers to freeze writer’s block, super strength to break writer’s block, or super stupidity to stare at you while you’re having writer’s block)?
9. Where would you like your assistant to be from (Jurassic Park, Narnia, your head)?
Aerwiar. He might be a particularly small variety of ridgerunner.
10. Will you solemnly swear that you will not fire your assistant in either sickness or in health, for richer for poorer, smarter or stupider, writing or not writing, for as long as you both shall live?
*raises hand* I solemnly swear I will not fire my assistant in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, smarter or stupider, writing or not writing, for as long as we both shall live.
Allie at Of Rainy Days and Stardust Veins
Chelsea R.H. at An Ordinary Pen
Zoe at A Weirdo Who Writes